Hallelujah
by piroutte
Summary: Set to a piece by Rufus Wainwright. It's sad, but I can't tell you much more without revealing the sort of plot. Please read and review! Thanks.


Hallelujah  
  
----  
  
Harry sat down on the cold metal bench in the waiting room of the hospital. He felt very uncomfortable and stuffed his hands into his pockets, maybe to ease his discomfort, or perhaps because his hands were cold. Whatever it was, he sat there until a nurse in a crisp white uniform came out, holding a clipboard, and nodded in Harry's direction. Harry immediately got up and walked through the door behind the nurse.   
  
It was very white and sterile, everything that a Muggle hospital was perceived to be in the wizarding world. Harry tried diverting his eyes from the person that lay in the bed in the middle of the room; it was too painful to look at her with tubes coming out of her, wires everywhere, and machines beeping to her heartbeat. He tried looking at his shoes, but his eyes were drawn to her. Even with the tubes and wires, she was still beautiful. Her chestnut hair was spread out on the pillow and her skins looked just like a doll's. Harry edged closer to the bed and whispered "Hermione..."  
  
The previously lifeless body smiled at Harry, and then opened her eyes. "Harry," she said softly, "I was wondering when you were going to come!" She coughed, and hid her pain behind her closed fist in front of her mouth.   
  
"I..I..was just, you know, kind of...busy, um...with, you know....stuff....my job...um," Harry stumbled. He felt awkward in the presence of Hermione in the hospital. "I, um, brought you, uh...flowers?" It sounded like more of a question that a statement. Hermione beamed.  
  
"Harry, thank you, you can put them right here," Hermione said, waving her hand towards a table next to her that was already filled with a colorful assortment of flowers.   
  
"How, uh...are you feeling?" Harry asked tentatively. Hermione's pale mouth dropped from a smile and her eyes lowered, and then they rose again to look at Harry, they were full of tears. "Oh..oh...oh no. Hermione.." Harry shuffled backwards towards the door. "I didn't mean to.....I'm sorry...."  
  
"No Harry, don't go, I'm...um..fine...I guess.." Harry stopped moving at this.  
  
"How can you be fine, Hermione? How?" Harry asked, puzzled.  
  
"I just am.." came Hermione's weak reply.  
  
iThere was a time  
You let me know  
What's really going on below  
But now you never show  
It to me, do you?/i  
  
"Are you really fine? Hermione, I know what's wrong...don't think I don't. For God's sake, I've known you for ten years, and you think I don't know you by now? Being that for the last five years we've spent almost every waking moment together." Harry accused.  
  
iI remember when  
I moved in you  
The holy dark  
Was moving too  
And every breath we drew  
Was Hallelujah/i  
  
Hermione turned away from Harry. He heard her muffled sobs and saw her wiping away her tears. "Don't you remember, Hermione? I'd never loved anyone like I loved you. You were the best thing to ever happen to me. I loved you, and I still love you. Why can't you see that?"  
  
iYour faith was strong  
But you needed proof  
You saw her bathing  
On the roof  
Her beauty and the  
Moonlight overthrew you/i  
  
"You changed me. You made me a better person, Hermione."  
  
iShe tied you to a kitchen chair  
She broke your throne  
And she cut your hair  
And from your lips  
She drew the Hallelujah/i  
  
"Why can't you see that? Why can't you see that this life sentence they gave you means nothing? Six months to live my arse Hermione. I've seen you stand up to Snape, you've helped me defeat Voldemort. Hermione! Why can't you see that you have so much to live for? And so many people to live for?" Harry was crying now.  
  
"Harry, I'm dying. And you know. Please," she sniffed, "Please, just leave."  
  
"I will NOT leave, Hermione Granger, because I will NOT let you die. You are the one person I love! They only person I will ever love! Not now, not ever will I let you die," Harry roared.  
  
"Harry..there's nothing you can do, except leave me alone, please, please just leave me alone," Hermione said, as her shoulders moved as her small and frail body was wracked with sobs.  
  
"What happened to you Hermione? You used to be so strong, so brave, clever, and Hermione, I have loved you since first year when you told me I was a great wizard. Don't you remember? You changed me, you really made me believe in myself." said Harry softly.  
  
iMaybe I've been here before  
I know this room  
I've walked this floor  
I used to live alone  
Before I knew you/i  
  
Hermione still sobbed, but turned to Harry. Her eyes were swollen and red, she quietly whispered, "Harry...I..I..never...loved..you..."  
  
The expression on Harry's face was one of bewilderment and absolute horrified surprise. However, his eyebrows soon furrowed together and he pointed his finger at Hermione. "Yes...yes....y-y-you did. I know you did."  
  
"I've never loved anyone," Hermione said, without any expression in her voice.  
  
"YES YOU DID!" Harry screamed, with a pained look on his face. "I KNOW YOU DID!"  
  
"Why would I lie to you Harry?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Because..." Hermione's eyebrows rose. "Because you're afraid to admit to yourself that you have loved Hermione. You're afraid, because you've let yourself believe in what they told you here. That you'll only live six more months. Hermione....don't believe it..you can overcome it."  
  
"HARRY," Hermione cried, "I NEVER loved you! LEAVE!"  
  
Hermione's sobs came louder and louder, to the point where a nurse came to the door. "Everything all right?" she asked, the formality overdoing any really feeling in the question. Harry shot her a venomous look, and she quickly left.  
  
"No Hermione, I won't let you do this. I won't let you shut me out of your life." His voice quickly softened. "Hermione, you're not like this…you're brave. You're strong. Don't change. Don't be afraid."  
  
"Harry," Hermione said, with her back still turned, "There's nothing I can do. How many times do you want me to tell you? I'm dying. Nothing, there's nothing you can do." She pulled the covers up over her shoulders and whispered, "Get out Harry."  
  
"You are afraid Hermione. Why? Afraid to love because you think you're going to die-" Harry started.  
  
"I AM dying Harry!"   
  
"Or what else? What is it you're afraid of?"  
  
A pregnant pause followed. The clock ticked each second, and as each second went by, the next seemed even further away. Hermione turned to lie on her back, and stared at the ceiling. After opening and closing her mouth several times, she answered. "Harry I don't want to hurt you. I…want you to love someone else. Don't waste your time on me."  
  
Harry stepped close to Hermione's bed and kneeled on the left side of her. The sun suddenly came from behind the clouds, and the brilliant yellow light came pouring through the double windows to the right of Hermione. He brushed the hair out of her face, and kissed her cheek very gently, and took his finger to outline her cheekbone. "It's never wasted time when it's with you Hermione. I love you, and you'll get better. I promise. I won't let this tear you away from me."  
  
iI've seen your flag  
On the marble arch  
Love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and  
It's a broken Hallelujah/i  
  
A single tear rolled down Harry's face and dropped on the pillow, next to Hermione's head. Hermione raised her hand and brushed away the nonexistent tears on Harry's face. This action masked Hermione's true desire to comfort Harry. Harry wrapped his hand around Hermione's small, pale hand and closed his eyes. If only we could stay like this forever, he thought to himself.  
  
---Sometime in the very close, but distant future---  
  
Harry held his head low and clutched his hands together for security. He closed his eyes and tried to remember everything about Hermione. Her laugh. Her smile. With a smile he remembered the first time he had met her. It was on the train, on their first year at Hogwarts. Little Miss Know-it-all. Harry had loathed her as much as he loathed Draco Malfoy at that point, but by the end of the first year, he held a secret crush on Hermione. He had silently cursed himself every year at the Yule Ball for not asking her, but finally in the seventh year, he did, and much to Harry's surprise and pleasure, she accepted his invitation. She had looked beautiful that night in a startling red robe with her hair done perfectly and she was, dare he think the cliché, radiant.   
  
Things only got better from then on. Hermione and he were inseparable, and Harry enjoyed every minute. They were madly in love, and everyone at Hogwarts knew it. They both moved into flats in London close to each other after graduation, working jobs for the Ministry. May 12, 2000 had been their wedding date, and everything had been set. The tickets had been booked for their honeymoon, the reservations made for the wedding hall, and the wedding dress carefully hung in the closet. Just a month before their wedding, Hermione had grown violently ill. Cancer, the doctors said it was.  
  
Not even magic could cure Hermione, and she pushed Harry out of her life. Hermione was soon hospitalized and given six months to live. Harry had carefully planned the day he was going to visit her. He wore her favorite outfit of his and he picked out flowers to give her. Sheepishly, he had entered the room that day. Tears fell at the thought of that day.   
  
"Harry," came a voice, softly. "Are you almost ready?"  
  
"Yes, yes," Harry answered briskly and lifted his head to look at who has in the doorway. It was Ginny. "Ginny, I'll be ready in a few minutes, just wait downstairs." Ginny nodded, and closed the door to the room. Harry turned to look at himself in the mirror. "I won't break my promise to you Hermione. I will never love anyone as much as I loved you."  
  
Harry carefully brushed off his black suit and headed down the stairs to join his friends. Before they walked out the door, Harry noticed the date on a calender next to the door. May 12, 2001. What would have been their one year anniversary was now the date of Hermione's funeral. Harry silently whispered his promise over and over until the funeral was over. "I will never love anyone as much as I loved you, Hermione Granger. Never."  
  
iMaybe there's a God above  
And all I ever  
Learned from love  
Was how to shoot  
At someone  
Who outdrew you  
It's not a cry  
You can hear at night  
It's not somebody  
Who's seen the light  
It's a cold and  
It's a broken Hallelujah/i  
  
---  
  
The song is "Hallelujah" by Rufus Wainwright. Please review! 


End file.
